The way I get ready has significantly changed over the last five years, because I was a very insecure teenager. I had severe acne and a borderline eating disorder, and I was so body-conscious, I took ages to get ready. My dad was a bodybuilder, so I lurched between wanting to be huge and wanting to be rakish. All of that led to this insecure 15-year-old beanpole who took two hours to get ready. I’d rewash my hair in a temper if it went wrong.
Everything changed once I started standup, because you have to be ready at the drop of a pin if you want to be successful. Sleep has become more important, and I can now go from the alarm going off to being out of the door, including breakfast, shower and full blow-dry (I’m cursed with thick hair) inside an hour. Plus the women in my life are less hung up on the way a bloke looks, so once I realised I could be attractive and funny in other ways, I didn’t worry so much if I had a hair out of place.
Every five years, I suddenly and completely change my look. Once I came out of the other end of the BBC3 “Hey, look how youth I am!”, circus, I thought, “I’m married now, I’ve got a baby on the way – it’s time to grow up.” So I went through the wardrobe, got rid of everything and bought 10 suits and 10 shirts.
I don’t wear makeup any more, either. I could tell Lindsay, my wife, hated it, so I threw out the eyeliner. I was in a relationship before when we were both a bit more punky and gothy, and I enjoyed that look, but once I got rid of it, I thought, “Why was I doing that? I looked ridiculous.”
I just suddenly thought, “I need to grow up.” We’ll see how it goes. In five years’ time, I’ll probably be dressing in robes, having become a Buddhist or something.
• Russell Kane Live is out now on DVD. He will be touring Right Man, Wrong Age in spring 2016; russellkane.co.uk for details.