Cover: It’s not often that the likes of Kate Moss and Cher are upstaged, but even superstars have take a back seat to C-3PO. Featuring on one of Love’s seven different covers, Star Wars’ most fashionable droid (sorry, R2) is polished to perfection. Flawless.
Coat count: 66
Key trend: Anything outside. That includes models covered in freshly cut grass, designers smeared with soil and a very natural Liz Hurley hanging out with a palm plant. They’ll all be camping next.
Soundbite: Model Eva Herzigova is really behind that outside theme. “I love hugging trees,” she says. “There’s a very special energy there, like with people.” Sure.
Styling tip: Laddered tights and fags are the way to channel 90s style. That’s what Edie Campbell uses in a shoot styled by Corinne Day collaborator Tara St Hill.
Scene stealer: Yes, it’s even possible for C-3PO to be upstaged – puppies have a habit of doing that. Love’s contents page features a shot of the robot holding Red, editor Kate Grand’s puppy, on a lead.
Cover: Emma Watson, wearing Stella McCartney, tousled hair and a single ear cuff. She has been dubbed the “voice of a generation”, which makes us think of that bit in Girls where Lena Dunham suggests she could be “the voice of my generation – or at least a voice of a generation”, but that may not be intentional. Either way, Ms Watson is Vogue’s girl of the season.
Coat count: 32
Key trend: The 1980s. Model Anna Ewers stars in a shoot full of shoulder pads, blusher and proper prints. Think the Human League meets a teenage Sharon Watts in the Queen Vic. The sheer tights trend – also very 80s – gets a feature, too.
Soundbite: The feature on male models is, perhaps unsurprisingly, full of bon mots from the latest generation of Zoolanders. Our favourite? When one chap is asked if there is promiscuity in the industry. “What’s that? A brand?” he responds. Bless.
Scene stealer: The pink wall behind Emma Watson. It’s sure to distract any reader in the throes of DIY. Expect to see them clutching copies of the magazine at the Dulux paint-matching counter.
Cover: Kristen Stewart in the label of the moment, Gucci. The combo of deep-purple frilly blouse and raspberry trousers, plus Stewart’s swept-over waves and “What?” expression adds up to a moody feel for AW15.
Coat count: 41
Key trend: The return of the blouse. The frillier, the better. They can be worn with everything from biker jackets to dungarees and jeans, and they’re a far cry from what Margaret Thatcher wore with her skirt suits.
Soundbite: Kristen Stewart being interviewed by Juliette Lewis has some doozies. These include Lewis’s dog sniffing Stewart, comparing Patti Smith to Yoda and Stewart’s desire to “go out on the dancefloor and be sick” – as in “good”. Anyone else find this difficult to visualise?
Styling tip: Sports socks and loafers form an unlikely success as a combo – if a directional one. Wear with suit trousers to really mess with people’s minds.
Scene stealer: Model Nadja Giramata’s haircut. The 1960s-style brights in her shoot are nice and all, but it’s the perfect chin-length, fringed bob that’s the takeaway.
Cover: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, proclaiming: “I’m a girls’ girl.” Across three covers, this is backed up by the model wearing proper girly frocks, one by Prada with loads of sequins. Another cover features a backdrop with the kind of shade of pink usually found on little girls’ bedroom walls.
Coat count: 44
Key trend: Outdoorsy. There’s a lovely story with model Kirsty Hume wafting around the Scottish highlands in some tweed and chunky socks. She almost climbs a tree at one point. Winter walks through the countryside are totally fashionable for 2015.
Soundbite: Probably 17-year-old male model Lucky Blue on the comparisons between him and Liberace, who he dresses up as for a Jean-Paul Goude shoot. “He’s cool, he’s blingy, he’s killing it, he’s rad.” Somebody has clearly watched Behind the Candelabra.
Styling tip: Cosy, chunky knee-high socks over bright tights. If it works on Kirsty Hume, it will look just as good on the rest of us, right?
Cover: Sky Ferreira, pop’s bad girl with the nose ring to prove it, is hardly the usual choice of a magazine more familiar with safer popcorn fodder such as Reese Witherspoon. But Ferreira wearing Miu Miu frills perhaps suggests InStyle is turning over an edgy new leaf.
Coat count: 36
Key trend: InStyle is packed with trends, including fringing, the 1980s and, somewhat confusingly, the 1990s, too. Our favourite is a trend based on Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl’s alpha female. The perfect excuse to wear pastels, hairbands and cardigans, and practice withering put-downs to Brooklyn hipsters.
Soundbite: “Think librarian with a hot secret and a passion for knitting” is how the granny chic trend is described. Add a northern accent and that sounds like a Pulp lyric circa 1994.
Styling tip: JW Anderson describes his muse as someone who “could work for Nasa, but in the 80s”. This season, study Sarah Jessica Parker in 1986’s Flight of the Navigator and you’re golden.
Scene stealer: Miu Miu, Saint Laurent and Rochas are all well and good, but Ferreira’s shoot is about that age-old combo of pout and big hair. Even fashion will have a hard time competing with that.