From Earl Grey tea and Bruce Jenner’s ponytail to sequins and beards: what’s hot and what’s not on planet fashion this week

Going up

Earl Grey tea If it’s good enough for Dolly Parton…

Hip-hop 2015 is set to start with some welcome returns: new Kendrick Lamar and Kanye albums are not far away.

Rainbow Brite This season’s equine reference. Cooler than My Little Pony with a better mane than those in Taylor Swift’s Blank Space video. Soon to be celebrated in a collection by Kit Neale.

Men in pastel-coloured coats Behold: Douglas Booth and A$AP Rocky for Ferragamo.

Tom Ford’s penis necklace The master of sleek sexuality has gone a bit Carry On this season – and it’s really quite a giggle.

Bruce Jenner’s ponytail Very jaunty indeed.

Going down

Barbie back Latest plastic surgery trend is an operation to create a slim, dimpled lower back worthy of a tiny plastic doll. Gross.

Sequins Basically banned, now, until November – unless you have access to a shimmering poloneck to layer beneath an understated tank, as seen at the Dior show in Tokyo.

Peplums Far too Apprentice candidate. The modern waist cincher is a simple leather belt over a cardigan. As seen at Acne.

#loveit Is this the worst hashtag on the whole of the internet?

Beards as a macho statement

Seriously, wtf?

Generation Y The Swedish term is Generation Ironic. We, like, like this term much better, yeah?